Can't Sleep

It's 2:22 am and surprisingly so, I'm still wide awake. I can't figure out if it's due to sugar and caffeine overdose or something else. (and now the song "Stolen" by Dashboard Confessional is currently playing - too early to say goodnight). Considering that it's been a long day and a tiring one as well. That's why I don't understand why my brain is all wired up and my neurons are buzzing around all over the place as if the sun is up and shining. I honestly think I still have the energy to clean the whole house if I wanted to. Damn it. So here I am, staring at my computer screen, just spilling my thoughts out. 

So where should I begin?

Well, I'm still trying to put my life back on track. Since the pandemic hit, everything felt like it was all in shambles. To tell you the truth, (now, "Marry Me" by Train is playing) I'm not really  good with planning my life. At all. I probably got used to the idea of letting the circumstances decide for me. To let me be carried to where the wind blows. And I thought I was already content with that. But sometime last year, I realized that I'm not getting any younger and so I probably should start learning how to steer the wheel on my own. So what I did, I tried to resign from my post from my previous work. However, they asked me if I could at least stay for one more year. And I gave in. Because I thought it would give me enough time to work out my plans for a longer time. I even considered working abroad for the first time. 

THEN 2020 HAPPENED.

Everything went down the drain. It's like each day, I just get through it, with paranoia lurking behind me all the time. Where my only thought was that me and my loved ones should all live and survive through this. And it's excruciating and tiring. It's like my mind can't think of anything else but that, at all. But I try my best to stay positive at most times, because I can think of alot more other people who had it worse than I do. I still am grateful for the blessings that I receive each day. But when days are dreary, I just also want to weep it all out, like a normal person, only to let go some of my frustrations. 

So there. (Background music: cue "Everglow" by Coldplay)

All I want to say is, I just miss being the me that I was before all of these. I just hope that I will get to meet her again somewhere in the near future. So I can tell her that we made it through and that we've turned into something new, hopefully, into something better. And that we will start making again our own little ways into changing the world for the better.

Say It With a Heartbeat

You are way too unconventional,
to my life that is way too practical.

You are of the bright neon lights,
while I am of the shadows of the moonlight.

You live on the fast lane,
you would surely drive me insane.

How did you ever find me?

You, a boy,
who could unerringly use his words in a beat.
Me, a girl,
who would rather say them with a heartbeat.

All I wanna do...

all I wanna do is say I love you

She Will Be Loved

She was this girl who lived in a house facing the sea. She was fond of sitting by the porch to watch the sky and the sunsets, and it's where she welcomes people who came to visit her. She accepts them with arms open wide, yet she never, not even for once, asked them in. She would only let them settle themselves comfortably on the lounge chairs that were set up by the porch, but never inside the comforts of her home. They never minded it though, these people, because even though she never let them in, she would always come out and greet them, and serve them lemonades and cookies while they do their catching up by the porch. They never asked for a reason, and fair enough, she never told them why.

One rainy day, a young man passed by and saw her sitting on her chair by the porch, her face upturned to the gloomy skies. He startled her when he asked if it's possible that he might take shelter for awhile under her roof, and being the polite girl that she was, she welcomed him onto her porch and offered him a warm cup of tea and a towel to dry himself with. Grateful for her graciousness, he told her stories of his adventures in return. She was awed by his stories that they didn't even realize that the rain had already stopped, not until when they heard the birds chirping outside and she pointed it out to him. Noticing his cue, he bid her farewell and asked for permission if he may visit again. 

Days, weeks, months passed by and the young man kept on coming back to her house for a visit. And during those times, just like with the others, she never invited him in. He noticed it early on, for during his earlier visits, other people also came to see her and everyone received the same treatment. A warm greeting and a hug and a seat by the porch, but never inside her home. So one day, he courageously asked her the reason why she never did and it caught her by surprise because all of her life, he was the only one who bothered to ask why. It took her awhile to gather her wits yet he patiently waited for her to answer his question. 

"It's easier for me that way." was all she said after quite some time.

"Easier for you to what?" he asked, when it seemed like she wouldn't tell him more

"Easier for me to say goodbye."
"Because you see, they never really came in. It only seemed like they did, but in reality, they only passed by."

"So that's what I am too. Just a passerby?"

"What do you think?" she replied, then hastily excused herself, telling him that it's time for her to prepare supper. 

The next day, she was surprised to find him standing by her porch because she thought that after their conversation from the night before, he wouldn't bother to come and visit her again. Yet there he was, patiently waiting for her to come out, and that's when she noticed that piles of wood and nails were laid out on the floor. Feeling confused, she asked what he was planning to do because she could not remember asking for help in fixing her porch.

"I'm not here to fix your porch." was all he replied

"Then what are you planning to do with all of these things?" she asked again

"If you wouldn't let me inside your house, then I'll build one right here in this place where you would let me in."

"Are you out of your mind? What do you mean you're building a house in  my porch? You cannot build a house here."

"Yes I can. And I would. But it won't be just a house. It'll be a home, because it has me and you in it. I'm doing this to remind you, my dear, that I'm not a passerby just like the others. I'm here to stay and I mean it."

Back at One

***Hi guys! It's been more than a year since I last wrote the story of this imaginary couple and suddenly they made their presence felt, so here it goes. This is a part of the story that kind of happened in between Coffee for Two and Infinite World. Tell me what you think. :)

"Please pick up your phone. We need to talk. Or if you don't want to, just please tell me you're okay. No matter what, I..."

She knew what's coming up so she clicked the delete button before he could finish the words that frightened her down to the core. 

Then the doorbell rang.

Shuffling to her feet, she quickly opened the door thinking that it was room service when suddenly she felt her heart drop to her feet as she caught sight of the man that had turned her into a thousand jumbled pieces. 

He reached out his hand to touch her, just to be sure that what he was seeing really was her, but when he saw her flinch and take a step back, there was nothing he could do to hide the pain that slashed through his heart.

Still looking at her feet, she asked "How did you find me?" 

"Why did you run away from me?" he countered, never minding the fact that he sounded like a tortured lover. Because indeed, he turned into a tortured soul when she suddenly disappeared. 

"I didn't run away. I just needed a few days to clear my head. I would have texted you once I get back."

"You could have told me. I would've come here with you if that's what you wanted."

"Isn't it obvious that that's not what I wanted?"

"Then why don't you tell me what you want?"

"Do I really even have to spell it out for you? Can't you see, it's simple. I don't want you here."

Clutching on to his chest as if the pain her words lashed onto him felt like a physical blow to his soul, he replied  "Wow. She can be mean if she wants to huh?"

"I can be meaner if you don't leave immediately. So why don't you just go now and let me be."

Without looking, she walked back inside the room, heading towards the balcony doors, because the air suddenly felt too thick for her to breathe. Not waiting for any invitation from her, he followed her inside.

Out onto the open deck, she perched herself on one of the chairs and closed her eyes. She didn't know what to say. How can she explain that she wanted him to stay as much as she wanted him to leave?

"Seriously, you didn't have to follow me here. I was planning to go back within the week anyway."

"You're right. I don't have to. But I needed to see you. To make sure that you're okay. So sue me for being worried over you." he angrily said as he stomped towards the other chair.

She finally conceded that she was in the wrong. Over the sound of the crashing waves, she whispered softly "I'm sorry."

Seconds ticked by, and they both silently sat side by side as they watched the waves crash onto the shore. All along she thought he hadn't heard her, so she got a little bit surprised when he spoke.

"There's no need for you to be sorry. If you wanted a moment for yourself, it's fine with me. You could've at least told me where you're going. Or at least, that you're leaving." Suddenly he stood up then went to where she was seated and sat down beside her.

With his eyes still glued to the sea shore, he asked "So you have any plans on telling me why you suddenly disappeared?"

Taking a deep breath she started with "Because you frighten me too much."

He sucked in his breath preparing for the next blow because he knew her too well to respond to that, and it hurts her more to think that he knew her that much.

"You brought out all these things I've learned to keep inside of me. I said I'd never fall in love and I never did." a lonesome tear managed to escape as she tried her best to keep her composure then huffing out a single breath, she continued "Well until you came along, that is."

Suddenly all of the aches from days ago left his body and relief washed over him. Finally giving in to the urge to touch her, he cautiously laid his hand on her shoulder and when she didn't resist, he tightened his grip and pulled her closer until he can feel the softness of her hair against his lips. 

He didn't realize how much he missed this. It felt like all of  his life, this was the only thing he was meant to do. Just to hold her.

Without moving his lips away from her head he murmured, "Would you like to know a secret too?"

As she nodded her response, he said "You frighten me as well." 

Pushing her far enough to look her in the eyes he continued "You frighten me too much I didn't know what to do when I realized that you were gone. I was afraid that the time we were together was only just a dream and I suddenly woke up. I thought I lost you forever."

She watched as the pain flashed across his eyes and it hurt her more. She touched his face, wanting to kiss away all the pain she caused him, but before she could, she held herself back because she wanted to explain herself more.

"I ran away because I watched someone die."

"He was a good guy. I didn't know him well but I always saw him with his family. They really looked so happy together. He and his wife and their little girl. What happened to him, to them, they didn't deserve it."

"Was this the guy who got robbed that you tried to rescue?" he quipped. He remembered her talking about it and realized that that's when she started to keep to herself at times.

"Yes. That's him. I did my best to stop the bleeding but I was too late. If only I saw him a couple of minutes earlier I could have kept him alive. If only then, maybe he'll be spending dinner with his family right now."

"But it wasn't your fault. It's not fair that you blame yourself for his death."

"Don't get me wrong. I'm not taking the blame. What really undid me then was when I got to talk with his wife after the incident."

"When I asked her how she was, she told me that she wasn't okay for the meantime but she knows that she'll be someday. Because she has to. For their daughter. Because she's all that she has left of him. She knows that a part of him lives in her and that's what keeps her going on."

"I tried to put myself in her shoes then and I suddenly saw you lying there on the pavement instead of him. surrounded with blood, and there's nothing I could do to save you. That's when I broke down."

"I ran away because I thought it could loosen the grip you had around my heart. That maybe if I put some space between us, it would be easier for me..." 

"For you to what?" he asked when she didn't continue

"For me to let you go." she said, trying to keeep the tears from falling.

"And why in God's name would you do that? Do you think I'd just be a willing participant that when you decide to let go, I'd let go too? Just because you  imagined me dying on the street. I'm sorry to say but that's not how I do it."

"I know. But can't you see? The pain I felt when I imagined that I lost you was all too real. I don't think I can be as brave as her. I'm not even sure if I can handle that much. That's why I thought it'd be better if I let you go as early as now because I thought I haven't sunk quite that deep yet."

"So let me get this straight. You tried to cut me out of your life because you're afraid that you might suddenly lose me?"

"Yes."

"Then let me ask you another question. Would it make any difference if let's say we've separated, then a couple of years from now, you'd hear news of my death. Would you hurt less? Because for me, I absolutely think it would only make the pain worse. To think that I let you live those years without me by your side. That one would hurt me more."

Realizing now her mistake, she closed her eyes. "How did this happen? All my life I've been able to keep myself from falling yet now, here you are, only a couple of weeks in and suddenly you laid claim for the rest of my pitiful of my life."

"Let's just say you laid the claim first, love. That moment when you bought this necklace." he said as he reached for the locket that brought them together.

With their arms wrapped tight around each other, they watched the sun as it slowly descended towards the horizon, while the warm breeze blew around them.

"Just to make things clear, there won't be anymore episodes of running away from me, right? Because I seriously will keep on hunting you down even if I have to drag you back  to where you belong."

"And where would that place be, if you don't mind my asking?" she playfully replied

"My bed." was his cocky response.

"You insufferable son of a ---"

"Ah-ah. Don't you dare curse my mother, woman."

"---pig. I was going to say, pig. Those wonderful human beings weren't your real parents anyway. They just adopted you."

"Seriously though, now that we've cleared things up. You want to go anywhere right now?"

Slipping her arms through his, she whispered against his ear "Anywhere will be fine. As long as you are in it."

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You came and breathed new life. 

Into this lonely heart of mine. 

You threw out the life line. 

Just in the nick of time.

***P.S. It's quite interesting for me that while this story was forming inside my head, this song suddenly played on the radio. I liked how it sounded so I decided to use it as the title of my story and when I finally watched the video right now (because seriously, I've already forgotten about it since it was frrm a long time ago. ouch!) I was a little bit surprised that somehow it was kind of related to the story also. Coincidence? Let the fates decide. ;)

Take My Hand

They were sitting on the sand, watching the sun dipping low,
as it sets off a splash of colors across the sky.

He reached out, but before he could touch her, she pulled back.

"Why won't you let me hold your hand?" he asked

She turned her face towards his and said,
"My hands are sweaty and grimy with sand. Just let it be."
"And isn't it enough already that I'm sitting right here beside you?"

Suddenly, he grabbed her wrist and dragged her away from the shore
towards the beckoning warmth of the sea.
Once they reached the shallow waters, he stopped and turned around to face her,
his body protecting her against the waves crashing against his back.
This time, when he searched for her hand once more,
he kept it underneath the waves and held on to it as he pulled her close,
his lips pressed closely against her ears,
tasting the salt water dripping across her cheeks.

"How about this, is this better?" he whispered in a teasing voice.
 

With a burst of happiness and laughter bubbling inside her,
she tried to keep it in and just nodded her head against his.
He pulled back, just far enough so he can look into her eyes,
his eyes filled with amusement at first, then suddenly turned solemn as he spoke,

"When will you understand that I'll never get enough of you?
That being near you is not enough to sate this need of touching you.
That each time I get a taste of your lips, I'd always want more.
Do I always have to drag you here everytime I want to hold your hand?
Can't you see? I wouldn't mind the waves battering against my back
and the sting of salt water in my eyes,
if that's what it takes to just keep your hands in mine."

***I don't know why, but I've been getting bothered with a lot of "signs" about weddings lately. I'm sure I won't be the one who's getting married but please, whoever you are, show yourself because I can't handle the suspense anymore. :P

Music Festival

Hallellujah! It feels good to be back! After a week of enforced Sabbatical leave (and queued up posts ^o^v), I'm back again to writing stuff on a daily basis. Seriously, I never thought I'd miss this routine of mine wherein I get to write whatever it is I'm feeling for the day. I kinda hated how I was forced to schedule up posts for the previous week but what can I do, desperate times call for desperate measures. :P Now, let's get back to work. ;)

 

He stood there beside her under the flashing lights as she watched in awe at the band playing across the stage. It's not the bodies mashing against them nor the blaring music that thunders through his ears that caused his heart to dance with the fast beat though. Rather, it's the sight of her as she watched in pure rapture while she sings with the crowd even though he cannot understand a single word coming out of her lips that took his breath away.

Even as she swayed her body to the tune, her body seemed more aware of the presence beside her. She felt him hold her hand and twined his fingers through hers and she held on tight as she danced her way closer to his warmth.

No two bodies can seem more different than the two of them.
Him - standing still while holding her hand.
Her - dancing around while holding his.
Yet, no two souls can be as one as theirs.
 
With his other hand he fumbled inside his pocket jeans and once he found what he was looking for, tugged her hand and splayed wide their fingers and wordlessly slipped a ring through one of hers. She looked at him in surprise until surprise turned into rapture. She pulled him to her and as she kissed him with unbridled passion, wordlessly answering his unspoken question. The set came into an end and the crowd started screaming around as if they too were cheering for them.
 
This is on the top of her bucket list.
She is the only one on his.

 

*** The 1975 playing during the Reading Festival last Aug 2014. 

This is my video inspiration for this post. ;) 

Somehow, the scene kind of unfolded while I was watching this. :P

Leap of Faith

***As most of my writings go, this was once again inspired by a song that has been familiar to me since I was a kid, but somehow struck me anew this time around. In case you're interested it's "It Might Be You" by Patti Austin. :)

The electronic voice amplified through the speakers announced the hour - it's eight on a Monday morning - and people were rushing on their way to work, the station was filling up with passengers waiting for the next train. But in all of these bustle and hustle going on, a man and a woman were silently standing on the platform, their hands clasped together as the train screeched into a halt. The doors opened and people started to rush in, bumping against the couple who stood still on their place on front of the door, making some of the other passengers curse at them as they pass by. They didn't move or so it seemed, unless one would watch them closely and notice the slight movements made by their hands, making you realize that they gripped each other's tighter, as if they never wanted to let go. 

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The buzzer lit up and as the doors began to close, the woman suddenly moved with seemingly inhumane speed and turned around to plant a soft kiss on the man's cheek, as she whispered words that only he could hear. Giving his hand one final squeeze, she stepped into the train and she let go of his hand as the doors closed on her back. She did not turn around, not even until the train already left the station. For if she did, she would've seen the man look up into the sky with a sad smile across his lips, silently mouthing the same words that she whispered to him just a while ago.

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The man took the next train and as he left, the life on the train station remained the same. People rushing, children crying, buskers playing, pickpockets picking, everything's the same as it was before. But not with the two strangers who met there not more than twenty four hours ago, as their paths crossed either by fate or chance or accident, or even magic, or whatever you'd want to call it; because one thing's for sure, they were changed forever when each decided to take that leap of faith - together with a perfect stranger. The question now would probably be "Was it worth it?"

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***to be continued ;)

Coffee for Two

***Now it's my turn. Here's my own version of a "sparks fly moment" - this actually is the story on how the characters in my other story "INFINITE WORLD" met. Please do bear with me and my a-little-bit-longer-than-usual post though. Hope you'll like it. :) ~ jhun

“Finally rest day, we meet again” she thought, as she slipped through the doorway of her workplace. While strolling through the cobbled streets on this dark and gloomy afternoon, she thought of the books waiting for her from the bookstore near home.  She can’t help but feel excited to pick it up and start her weekend reading list. That’s how she usually spends her off days. Wake up, grab a bowl of cereals, play one of her LPs, pick the first book from the stack and spend the rest of the day on her favourite reading spot – by the windowsill.

Near the subway station, she noticed a busker playing the guitar on the sidewalk and, being a sucker for good music, she stopped a few meters away from the crowd forming around him as he played a couple of songs requested by the audience. She enjoyed listening to him, blown away by his talent in making complicated riffs seem easy as his fingers flew gracefully on his guitar, which somehow made her wish, “If only I could play it as good as him”. She was about to leave when suddenly, she recognized the intro to the *song that he was going to play next. 

This made her stop on her tracks and turn around, as if his music was pulling her in. She pushed her way through the now bigger crowd until she reached the front and just stood there, her gaze transfixed to the guy playing her song.  And when he began to sing, her heart jump-dived to her stomach, tears brimming in her eyes as the memory of her father flashed across her mind. His heartfelt performance made her think that maybe he too had lost someone, or if not, then he’s just a really, really good performer. As the song ended, she felt that she too must give him a little something in return for his wonderful gift, so she opened her purse and grabbed a couple of bills and laid it on the open guitar case on his front. Feeling that it wasn’t enough, she looked at him and waited until she caught his eyes and when she finally did, she mouthed a soft “Thank You” and suddenly left as she beat her way through the crowded station.

Still a little bit shaken from her unusual detour, she ran to the platform so that she could catch her train. The doors are starting to close, but she’s pretty sure that she can make it. She was surprised though when a hand suddenly grabbed her from behind and pulled her away from the closing doors, leaving her speechless, as she watched the train leave without her. She turned around ready to strangle the person who made her miss her train, but was dumbfounded instead when she recognized that the person was no other than the guy who was playing outside just a little while ago.

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“Where did you get that?” he asked in between huffs, trying to regain his breath. Confused and a little bit irritated she answered, “got what?”

“That.” Pointing to the necklace she was wearing.

Her hand flew to the locket, gripping it tight as she replied, “I bought it. What’s your problem by the way? Didn’t you notice that you just made me miss my train? Now I won’t be able to pick up my stuff from the shop before it closes. Thanks to you.” she said irritably.

“I’m sorry. This won’t take long I promise. I know this may sound weird, but can you just please let me buy that necklace from you? Just name your price and I’d gladly pay for it.”

This confused her even more. She stared at him and noticed that he wasn't just only out of breath, but he looked like a kid who was asking a gift from Santa. Afraid that she was getting assaulted by a crazy man, she moved a couple of steps away from him. She jumped to her feet though when his hand shot out of nowhere and grabbed her closer to him. 

“Are you trying to kill yourself?” he said angrily as he looked over her back. 

When she turned her head, that’s when she noticed that she almost fell to the rail tracks. Feeling chastised yet irritated at the same time, she pulled her arm away from his grip and was about to leave when suddenly he spoke again, “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have shouted at you. It’s my fault that you got scared. It’s just that, that necklace is really important to me and I’ve been looking for it everywhere. Please. I’d pay anything just please give it back to me.” His eyes pleading, making her heart melt and skip at the same time.

“How can I be sure that this really belonged to you?”

“Inside it are pictures of a man and a woman. That is if you still haven’t changed it. If you look at it closely, I’m sure you’d notice why.”

Her mind racing, mentally looking inside the locket, and sure enough that’s when she remembered the face of the woman. But then she realized that the same face now also belongs to the stranger standing in front of her. He noticed when she finally understood his reason and pulled her to a nearby bench.

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As they sat down, she was still in shock as she kept on staring at his face. Feeling a little bit uncomfortable by her reaction, he took out his wallet and flipped it open to pull out a small picture and gave it to her. Snapping out of her daze, she took it and noticed that it has three people on it. Looking at it closely, that’s when she realized that she was looking at the same couple in her locket, only now they’re accompanied by a little boy. It’s a pretty little picture of a happy family enjoying the sun by the beach.

Opening the locket, she looked at the pictures again and lets out a shaky breath. Turning her gaze back to the guy sitting beside her she asked, “How is this possible?” this time, with awe in her voice

Now it’s his turn to be confused with her question, “how is what possible?” he replied

“You. Here. Telling me that this couple are your parents. Am I right?”

“Yes, you're right.I know this is all surprising. I myself didn’t expect that I’d see that again after a mugger snatched it away from me. But why are you asking me why is it possible that they’re my parents?”

“Nothing. It’s just that I’ve been wondering about their story for so long. That’s the only reason why I even bought it in the first place. And now, their son is here, talking to me. Everything just feels so surreal.”

Letting out a soft sigh, she removed the chain around her neck. Giving it one final longing look, she took his hand and laid it out on his palm and closed his fingers around it with hers. She gave him a small smile and said “There you go. Now take care of it. Thanks for lending it for a little while.” Grabbing her things, she was about to take her leave when he asked “But what about your money? How much did you pay for it? I’m sure you didn’t buy this cheap. I’ll pay you back for it.”

“You were right. It wasn’t cheap. I was actually broke during that time when I bought it.” she said, laughing at the memory “But don’t worry. It was all worth it.” giving him a little smile.

“How about I take you to dinner instead? That would make me feel better. You don’t know how much this means to me. And I still feel bad for making you miss your train by the way.“

“You don’t have to, believe me it’s okay. I’ll probably just take the bus and pick my stuff out tomorrow morning.” “And I for one as a rule, don’t go out and talk to strangers because that’s what my mother taught me while I was growing up.” she added with a little wink

“Hey! You already met my parents. Does it still make me a stranger?” he quipped, then he thought of something that she couldn't probably resist

“What about I tell you their story over a cup of coffee? What do you think?”

The offer surprised her, and unexpectedly, she found herself thinking about accepting it. This coming from a socially awkward girl, who’d rather stay at home with her books rather than going out with her friends, was quite surprising. But then again, what the hell, she wondered. She’s been dreaming about their story for a long time and, now that the opportunity presented itself, who was she to refuse? Giving herself a little push on the back, she let out a sigh and said “Where are we off to then?”

*****

They took the bus and walked the rest of the way to the best coffee shop in town, near the bookstore that she was supposed to go to earlier. Noticing her look of longing to the “closed” sign on the window, he made a wild guess “Is thereby any chance that that's where you were rushing to?”

“Yip” she answered. She was surprised though when he pulled her to the door and he removed a set of keys from his pocket. As he fumbled with it she asked “What are you doing?”

“We’re picking up your stuff” he said simply, as if it was that obvious

Still confused, she asked “How in god’s name did you get a key for this place? I’d gladly sell a limb, even my heart out to the devil just to get one.”

Laughing at her statement he replied “First things first, ‘thou shalt not use thy god’s name in vain’, second ‘be always careful on what you wish for, third ‘never make a deal with the devil, you’ll always lose.’ and to answer your question, I have a key because I live here.” he replied nonchalantly.

Her jaw dropped as he pulled her into the premises of the store.  She was still in awe when he released her arm and moved to the back of the counter and browsed through the stacks of book lined up on the wall. Turning back to her he asked, “Which one is yours?” Still speechless, she moved closer and looked across the counter, recognizing the titles on one stack; she pointed it to him without uttering a single word. Wrapping her books in brown paper, he tied it with a ribbon and handed it over to her. Closing the lights inside the shop, he led her outside, to the chilly night once more.

*****

They took their seats across from each other. Their coffees sitting patiently waiting on the table, as they stared at each other for a long time, both mulling over the string of coincidences that happened today, when finally she asked “Do you really live in the book shop? How did that happen? I haven’t seen you once since I moved here and that was over a year ago. I thought you’re just an ordinary street performer.”

Taking his first sip, he set his cup slowly back to the table before he answered, “Yes, I do live there. That bookshop belonged to my mother’s family and was passed on from generation to generation. It just so happens that the present generation is only me. So I guess you could say that it’s now mine from the moment my mother died.” He took another sip before he continued, “And about my busking, it’s just my past time. I have regular gigs though, just in case you’re interested.”

“Really? Then why haven’t I seen you there? I’m always stopping by that shop after work.” 

“Let’s just say I’d rather pay other people to manage the place rather than do it myself. And I’ve only been back a week ago so I guess that pretty much answers your question.”

Still feeling a bit dazed, with goosebumps crawling across her skin, she warmed her hands on her cup as she replied “Yeah, I guess so.”

After a short awkward silence, he clapped his hands and said “So, are you ready to hear their story?”

As the rain began to pour, he told her the story that she’s been wanting to hear for a long, long time...

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*****

“There. That’s it. Well I guess, you could say that the rest was history. They had me, they lived a happy life together, then they faced death together.” he said as he concluded their story a couple of hours after they sat down.

“I’m so sorry. I can’t imagine losing my parents at such an early age. At least I got to enjoy my childhood with my parents. Although up until now, I’m still missing my dad. Even if three years had already passed, when I think about it, it still feels like yesterday. ” her eyes clouding over the memory.

“Don’t worry about me; I do still get sad from time to time over losing them.  But when I think about the time I spent with them, even if it was cut short sooner than I wanted to, it was all worth it. At least I grew up knowing that they loved me until the end, unlike some of the kids who had parents, but then was battered and abused by the same people who was supposed to take good care of them. Besides, I still have my aunt and she gave me all the love and care that I needed while growing up.”

“I suppose so.” She answered, although her eyes remained downcast. Without thinking, he leaned across the table and took her hands in his, both of them surprised by the sudden contact, as if electricity from their joined hands shot across their bodies, making them more aware of each other’s presence. Not letting go, he looked at her intently and said “Believe me, I’m happy. To tell you the truth, this could probably one of the best days in my life since it happened.”

Thinking that he was referring to the moment when he finally found the necklace she nervously replied, “Then I’m happy for you. After a long time, you’re lucky you found it again.“ talking fast due to uneasiness because he’s still not letting go of her hand, she added “Me too, this could probably be also one of my best days. After all, one of the greatest mysteries in my life was finally answered.” This time giving him the best smile that she could muster through her nervousness.

Without breaking the contact, he shook his head as he said “No, that’s just not it. Yes, I’m glad that I found it again. But what made this day better was because I met you.” this made her gasp, but he continued  “I know you probably think I say that to all the girls I meet, but to tell you the truth, this is the first time I’ll ask out a girl that I’ve never met before. I’m not one of those guys who usually slide next to a random girl in a bar and ask for her number. I’m the type who’d rather nurse his beer alone while sitting on the side lines.”

Taking a deep breath, as if he too was feeling shaky because of this moment he said, “And you, you’re practically a stranger to me and yet, there’s something about you that made me want to know you better.”

Her mind still reeling from his words, he asked her “So, would you give me the honor of taking you out in a proper date?”

“Date?” she repeated, still unbelieving that this is happening to her, “You’re asking me out on a date?”

“Yes ma’am. Yes I am. You don’t have to be that nervous.” He added laughingly, “I’m not asking you to marry me...well, not yet anyway.” giving her that familiar smile that for the past few hours made her stomach flip and turn.

Could this be it? She wondered. Should I say yes? What if he was only affected by the events of the day? What if in the end he’ll realize I’m really not his type? What if he was just being nice to me but in the end, he’ll decide to just go on his own way? Would the risk be worth it? Would it –

He tugged the hands still clasped in his, bringing her attention back to him, his stare making the rest of her numb as he said “Stop overthinking it. Just go out with me and let’s see what happens.”

*****

“Wow, I still can’t believe everything that happened today.” she said with a shiver running through her spine. It's already close to midnight, and as they’re walking down the street to the stoplight, the heavy rain finally softened into a drizzle. She’s still thinking about everything they talked about while downing their second, third and fourth cups of coffee – from music, to books, to playing the guitar – he even offered her a tutorial, free of charge.

“Yeah, me too. I really didn’t expect that I’d find this again.” He said as he reached for the locket that he’s now wearing around his neck.

“Let me tell you a secret.” she whispered, as they stood by the stoplight, waiting for the light to change.

Tucking the necklace back under his shirt, he moved his now smiling face closer to hers, suddenly making her heart slam against her ribs, making it harder for her to breathe. Feeling unnerved by his proximity, she tried to step away but found herself instead backed against the light post.  - Damn that smile. How is he doing this to me? – she thought

“What is it?” he whispered back

“Well, I was kind of expecting these things from the moment I woke up.”

Now curious, he raised an eyebrow and gave her a little nod so she went on,

“I know you’ll find this weird. It’s okay with me if you want to break our date.” She paused, as the word ‘date’ made her stomach flip out once more. “But you see, I have this belief that something weird always happens to me during full moon. And even though you can’t see it because it’s cloudy, well tonight’s the first night of full moon.”

“When I said that I expected ‘these things’, it doesn’t mean that I know what would happen. I just know that it would be something weird.  And I guess you could say that this day has been full of it.”  She dropped her eyes to floor as she felt a blush slowly creeping up her neck.

As the drizzle slowly turned to a heavy downpour, she noticed on her periphery that the lights had already changed. So she took all the courage that she could muster to look up, expecting him to turn around any moment because the rain is now pouring harder. But when she did, her heart beat against her chest wildly when she realized that he was still looking at her eyes. 

His lips moving slowly closer to hers, he murmured "Does this also count as a weird moment then?"

What happened next simply caught her off guard, as suddenly, she felt a pair of warm lips pressing softly against her trembling ones. With eyes still open, his hands moved to her back, pulling her away from the light post, moving her body closer to his.  Unknowingly, her hands moved to his neck, gripping him tight; and when that too felt as if it wasn’t enough, she moved it higher until they’re now combing through his hair and that’s when she lost herself to the feel of her first real kiss.

link for the original picture

*****

Running across the pavement until they reached her porch, she turned around and found him still standing down the steps, out on the pouring rain. “Why don’t you come up?” she asked.

Giving her a devious grin, he answered “I thought your mother taught you to never talk to strangers, and now you’re inviting me in? Is this a sign of teenage rebellion?”

Laughing at his answer, she replied “When I said come up, I meant here on the porch so you could wait for me on the outside, while I go in and come back out with the umbrella that I was planning to lend you.”

“Well, I guess that means I struck out huh?” his smile now turned into a boyish grin “Never mind with the umbrella. I’ll be fine, I'm wet anyway. See you tomorrow then, I guess. Goodnight m'lady” he said, with a small bow

“Yeah, see you tomorrow. Goodnight to you too...m'lord” she said, while doing a little curtsy of her own

She stood there as he walked down the street back to the direction of his place when suddenly, he stopped and took something out of his pocket. Wondering about what he was doing, she waited until he turned around and walked back to where she was standing.

“I forgot to give you something” he said as he reached her.

Taking one of her hands in his, he put something cold on her palm and what she saw surprised her.

It was a key. The key to the book shop.

Without a word, he planted another quick kiss on her lips before he ran down the porch steps and after a few seconds, turned around once more as he shouted 

“Now you don't need to make a deal with the devil. But I’m planning to collect the payment soon and I don’t want any of your limbs. You hear?” And with that he turned around and ran the rest of his way home.

Her heart still pounding as words from one of their conversations earlier bounced back at her...

“How in God’s name did you get a key for this place? I’d gladly sell a limb, even my heart out to the devil just to get one.”

With that memory putting a smile up on her face, she went inside and closed the door, but not before she murmured a soft “Thank You” while looking up to the rain filled sky.

* just in case you're interested with the the song that he played outside the station, here's the link : Leader of the Band by Dan Fogelberg 

**original post can be found in the Moon Sister's Blog :)

Infinite World

***This was originally posted from my Tumblr account with a little bit of tweaks here and there. ;)
***My moon sister also created her own short story about "infinity". Check it out here. :)

Before you read this short story, I advise you to listen first to the song that inspired it. "For You" by Duncan Sheik

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"Come on, sing me a song. Just like you always do." She nudged him playfully, as they sat side by side on a bench at the park drenched beneath the pale moonlight. It’s midnight, and everything’s quiet except for their hushed conversations and the sound of cars passing by. Grabbing the case leaning beside him, he took out his guitar and started picking the strings softly as he tuned it. The familiar sound of his fingers strumming sent a wave of calmness into her being. As always, she wrapped her arms around his body and laid her head against his back. She loved listening to him singing like this. With her palms against his chest, she felt the steady beating of his heart as he started to sing a song. Pressing her cheek against his shoulder blades, she closed her eyes and let herself get lost in the sound of his voice.

"For you I'm gonna sit and patiently wait

It's great if you're early but it's fine if you're late

For you I feel love and I just wanna show it."

"You're a beautiful girl, and I want you to know it

You’re a beautiful girl, and I want you to know it

You’re a beautiful girl, and I want you to know it

It’s an infinite world, and I want you…"

She gripped him hard, wanting him to feel everything she had to offer. She couldn't help feeling giddy when she felt his pulse begin to race, yet still beating in time with hers. It made her think, "This must be how happy really feels like." He paused for a moment and took a deep breath before he continued picking the strings. But this time more slowly, as he let the sound echo around them.

"For you I want to sing a happier song

For you I want to try to right all my wrongs

For you I’m gonna break my bad habits…

There’s a golden ring, and I want you to have it

There’s a golden ring, and I want you…”

He kept on playing the last few remaining notes as tears began to form underneath her eyelids. She felt his heart beating faster and faster as if it's trying to pound it's way out of his chest. She was surprised though when she realized that hers was also doing the same thing. When he's done, he put down his guitar and started to remove her firm grip on his chest. She still could not open her eyes, half afraid and half excited on what's going to happen next, until she felt him turn around and one of his hands cradled her cheek. With eyes still closed, she turned her face and pressed her lips on his palm, planting a soft kiss there, her lips lingering on the warm feel of his hand. She felt him shiver, which made her think "I guess he's also affected by this moment as much as I am." and that's where she gained the strength to face her future. 

When she opened her tear-stricken eyes, all she could see were his, just a couple of inches from hers. "I could just drown in them forever", she thought. The intensity of his gaze pinned her on her seat and left her paralyzed, as if her brain short-circuited and all that's left was a deep-fried mush. She felt him move, so she forced herself to look away and, that’s when she noticed that his other hand was holding on to the necklace he was wearing, the one that he always kept inside his shirt. He pulled it out expecting to see his mother's locket, but she lets out a gasp instead when she saw that it holds a ring - a golden ring. 

Dozens of thoughts flew on her mind at once. "What happened to your mother's locket with a picture of her and your father? The one he gave to her on the day they were married. The one she kept close to her heart until the day she died. The one you lost when a mugger took it away from you. The reason you chased me on the subway because you saw me wearing it around my neck a year after I bought it from a pawn shop. The one that kept me wondering why the hell did I bought it even if I know that I'm flat out broke, and yet I still couldn't say no because their pictures made me wonder about their story. The one that brought me to you..."

She was still wondering about these things when he let her go for a moment as he struggled to remove the necklace around his neck and the ring from it. This snapped her back to the present and a new, and welcoming thought flitted across her mind. She couldn't help but smile when she saw that his hands were shaking, making it harder for him to remove the ring from the chain because she's never seen him this edgy before. When he finally did, he took another deep breath before he took her hand and looked at her again. Even if she already had an inkling as to what he was going to say, his next words still took her breath away…

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"Can you be my Alice? I’ll be your Hatter and I promise, we’ll get crazy together. Forever."

Tears that were once threatening to fall down, finally did. She wanted to scream "YES!" out loud but her voice couldn't get over the lump on her throat. All she could do was just grin widely, her Cheshire Cat smile - as he fondly calls it, and nod her head wildly until it almost broke her neck. His breath left him out in a whoosh! and for him, her answer was more than enough and so he slipped the golden ring on her finger.

It’s a perfect fit. They’re the perfect fit.

He stood up, scooped her in his arms and whispered into her ears "Dance with me." Fitting her body against his, they held on to each other tight, the warmth of his body sending shivers down her spine. "Are you cold?", he asked. She shook her head no, she wanted to tell him that it's alright but still, he let her go as he opened his jacket. She thought that he was going to shrug it off so he could let her wear it, but was surprised yet again, when he suddenly grabbed her to him and wrapped her inside the jacket that he was still wearing. Wrapping his arms tightly around her he swept her off her feet while singing the song his parents were always dancing to when he was a kid. 

"Hold me close and hold me fast

The magic spell you cast

This is La vie en rose

When you kiss me heaven sighs

And though I close my eyes

I see La vie en rose

When you press me to your heart

I'm in a world apart

A world where roses bloom

And when you speak, angels sing from above

Everyday words seem to turn into love songs

Give your heart and soul to me

And life will always be...La vie en rose"

They danced until he was no longer singing the words and was just humming the tune. At last, when the final notes start to drift away, he pressed his forehead against hers and said "Promise me, that even if all the music would seize to play, you’d never let go of my hand no matter what. Could you?" His voice was quivering as he spoke the words, sounding both hopeful yet afraid at the same time. Moving her arms from its grip around his back, she took hold both of his hands and twined her fingers through his, their foreheads still touching, she whispered back, "I promise".

True to their words, they continued dancing underneath the radiance of the full moon and the blanket of stars, even if the only music that’s playing was the sound of the still night and that of their heart beats.

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***THE END***