*** Hi everyone! Sorry if I've been out for a couple of days. Just needed to take a breather. ^_^v
Some people believe that people change, while others claim, they never would. Well for me, I think it works both ways. I may have changed some of my attitude and outlooks in life each year yet the core of me still remains the same. Seriously, I'm still not much comfortable chatting and making small talk with people. God, I can still remember the time when my heart rate goes up, making me feel like I'm going to have an anxiety attack, every time the phone rings. But somehow, this previous year, I kind of gotten the hang of it. Now I believe that there's truth in the "Fake it till you make it" attitude. You can pretend to be brave even if deep inside your shaking and somehow, that's how the people around will perceive you. Then later on you'll realize that really, there's nothing to be scared about. Yet, I'm still not over my fear with new people. We can safely say that until now, I'm still quite faking it. :P
I remember last weekend, me and Rhio spent the day babysitting my sister and niece while they took a dip in the pool, and we just chatted about random stuff (which truthfully, all we ever do lately. Seriously, until now we wonder how we never run out of things to talk about.:P) Anyway, we talked about alot of changes that happened to us within a year and weirdly enough, the people that we were still remains the same. Before, we were this pair of silly girls making silly videos and writing about silly stuff and now, here we are, still the same pair of silly girls with silly dreams, but somehow taking their responsibilities more seriously. It's like we're still dreaming about these silly dreams but then, the decisions we make in achieving them has gotten more practical. Don't get me wrong though, we still love doing these silly things that we usually do, but we try to balance them now with our responsibilities.
Whenever I try to picture the people I've been before, I find myself quite amused and a bit sentimental. I see this little girl in her floral dress, somberly sitting on her chair while the other kids where running and playing around. Then there's this tomboyish high school kid who opted to join the CAT (it's like a basic military thingy for highschoolers) rather than learning how to put on make-up which most of the girls her age did. And there goes this angsty, rebellious, eye-liner wearing punk kid in college who managed to retain the air of responsibility while at home. The one who ditched her classes every time the professor pisses her off yet somehow managed to get good grades in spite of it. Now, I see myself a combination of all these people. Like a rebel kid lurking behind the starched uniform of a responsible adult, just waiting for the right moment to step out and wreck havoc. The part goody two shoes and part punk kid who spontaneously does something outrageous just to break the monotony of her life.
With all of these changes I've been through, it makes me feel like a driver with no road maps. I don't know where I'm headed or what's waiting for me around the corner. I don't know if I should cross the road or if I should take the turn. I don't know who I'll become tomorrow, or the next year, or the year after that. All I know is that I will keep my foot on the gas pedal and will probably raise my hands to let go of the steering wheel from time to time just to tempt fate to take me wherever it will dare me to. As my favorite line from the movie Meet the Robinsons says: "Keep moving forward."
***While writing this one, I remembered an article of Patti Smith when she interviewed Johnny Depp and she asked him what happened to the characters he played once he's done doing the film and he said:
"They're all still there, which on some level can't be the healthiest thing in the world. But, no, they're all still there. I always picture it as this chest of drawers in your body - Ed Wood is in one, the Hatter is in another, Scissorhands is in another...The weirdest thing is that I can access them. They're still very close to the surface."
I remember last weekend, me and Rhio spent the day babysitting my sister and niece while they took a dip in the pool, and we just chatted about random stuff (which truthfully, all we ever do lately. Seriously, until now we wonder how we never run out of things to talk about.:P) Anyway, we talked about alot of changes that happened to us within a year and weirdly enough, the people that we were still remains the same. Before, we were this pair of silly girls making silly videos and writing about silly stuff and now, here we are, still the same pair of silly girls with silly dreams, but somehow taking their responsibilities more seriously. It's like we're still dreaming about these silly dreams but then, the decisions we make in achieving them has gotten more practical. Don't get me wrong though, we still love doing these silly things that we usually do, but we try to balance them now with our responsibilities.
Whenever I try to picture the people I've been before, I find myself quite amused and a bit sentimental. I see this little girl in her floral dress, somberly sitting on her chair while the other kids where running and playing around. Then there's this tomboyish high school kid who opted to join the CAT (it's like a basic military thingy for highschoolers) rather than learning how to put on make-up which most of the girls her age did. And there goes this angsty, rebellious, eye-liner wearing punk kid in college who managed to retain the air of responsibility while at home. The one who ditched her classes every time the professor pisses her off yet somehow managed to get good grades in spite of it. Now, I see myself a combination of all these people. Like a rebel kid lurking behind the starched uniform of a responsible adult, just waiting for the right moment to step out and wreck havoc. The part goody two shoes and part punk kid who spontaneously does something outrageous just to break the monotony of her life.
With all of these changes I've been through, it makes me feel like a driver with no road maps. I don't know where I'm headed or what's waiting for me around the corner. I don't know if I should cross the road or if I should take the turn. I don't know who I'll become tomorrow, or the next year, or the year after that. All I know is that I will keep my foot on the gas pedal and will probably raise my hands to let go of the steering wheel from time to time just to tempt fate to take me wherever it will dare me to. As my favorite line from the movie Meet the Robinsons says: "Keep moving forward."
***While writing this one, I remembered an article of Patti Smith when she interviewed Johnny Depp and she asked him what happened to the characters he played once he's done doing the film and he said:
"They're all still there, which on some level can't be the healthiest thing in the world. But, no, they're all still there. I always picture it as this chest of drawers in your body - Ed Wood is in one, the Hatter is in another, Scissorhands is in another...The weirdest thing is that I can access them. They're still very close to the surface."
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