Hi there everyone. Sorry if this post will be another edition of my most recent blabberings. It's just that, well, these past few days have been a little bit weird which always leaves a funny feeling in my gut, if you know what I mean. Anyway, as I'm writing this (although I'd probably post it the next day), I just got home from a spontaneous meet-up with Rhio (who else?:P) and for a couple of hours, we got to talk about alot of things. I know, I know, you're probably getting bored with me talking about the things we talked about but don't worry. I'll leave that for another day. For now, I'll just tell you about some of the things I've realized while we're talking.
Have I ever told you that until now, I still cannot believe that I'm already considered as one of the "grown-ups"? I admit, until now I'm still in that denial stage wherein I still believe that a long as I live underneath the roof of my parent's house, I'm still a kid. Just in case you're not familiar with our culture, let me explain a couple of things first.
In the Filipino culture, we believe in closely knit family ties. As far as I know, in other cultures, once you reach the age of 18, you're not the responsibility of your parents anymore. You can just pack your bags and leave without any need for explanations once you reach the legal age. But here, especially if you grew up in a house where all of your actions (and class schedules) were closely monitored, you may stay and live in the same house that you grew up in as long as you need (and if you have a job, it's also your responsibility to help pay with the bills). Without any fear of judgment from other people just because you're still living underneath your parent's roof. And that's why when I met up with Rhio to grab some dinner, I felt something quite different and a bit exhilarating. Because when we settled on our seats and started talking, I suddenly felt the need for a stronger drink and that's when I realized that, heck, we're already old enough to order a beer for ourselves. So that's why I asked her to order us a couple of drinks because seriously, with all my nerves getting a bit shaken up, I needed something to steady it. And that's just it. A beer.
I never thought that ordering a beer along with your dinner could send too many thoughts running across your head, especially if you've just done it for the first time. Some of you might not get this but growing up (and still living) in a house where you follow the traditional rules (i.e. no talking back to your parents, weekends are for the family especially Sundays where everyone must go to church, curfew hours even if you're in the working force already, which really I don't mind much since it gives me a reason to go home early, if you're going to be late you must send a message and make sure you're in time for dinner, and lastly, no drinking of alcohol in front of your parents especially if there's no occasion.) will always make you feel like you need to ask for permission first before you do something that usually only grown-ups will do, which as what I've said, like ordering a beer. Maybe that's one of the reasons why until now, I'm still not yet ready to give up my place as one of the younger children. Truth be told, by around 6:00, I was already expecting a message or a phone call from my mom asking me where I was, but surprisingly, it didn't get in until 7:00; which in some ways is still too early for a girl like me who was born and raised in the city that is practically etched at the back of my hand, right? I mean seriously, you can count the number of times I got home later than 12 midnight (that is not in the company of a family member) on the fingers of my one hand . I swear it on girl scouts' honor. Then now, here I am, grabbing a dinner with a beer on one hand and I keep on telling myself "Hey, just a reminder, you're old enough to do this so there's no need for you to look behind your back to check if your mom will suddenly pop out of nowhere just to ask you what the heck do you think you're drinking?". I guess if you've lived like this all your life, it's much harder to rub off of your system.
So this is me - an in denial grown-up who still believes that the things she does were all just part of playing the grown-up game. Sometimes, when I sign papers or make letters and stuff or do recommendations and consultations with parents regarding their kids' health, it still leaves me feeling a bit dazed afterwards. To think that these people actually listened to the words that I've said (which sometimes I felt like I just memorized it from a textbook) still gives me the creeps because seriously, if they saw me for the kid that I really am inside, would they still heed my advice?
***I know this is basically way too much thinking just for a bottle of beer but well, welcome to my life. ;)
Have I ever told you that until now, I still cannot believe that I'm already considered as one of the "grown-ups"? I admit, until now I'm still in that denial stage wherein I still believe that a long as I live underneath the roof of my parent's house, I'm still a kid. Just in case you're not familiar with our culture, let me explain a couple of things first.
In the Filipino culture, we believe in closely knit family ties. As far as I know, in other cultures, once you reach the age of 18, you're not the responsibility of your parents anymore. You can just pack your bags and leave without any need for explanations once you reach the legal age. But here, especially if you grew up in a house where all of your actions (and class schedules) were closely monitored, you may stay and live in the same house that you grew up in as long as you need (and if you have a job, it's also your responsibility to help pay with the bills). Without any fear of judgment from other people just because you're still living underneath your parent's roof. And that's why when I met up with Rhio to grab some dinner, I felt something quite different and a bit exhilarating. Because when we settled on our seats and started talking, I suddenly felt the need for a stronger drink and that's when I realized that, heck, we're already old enough to order a beer for ourselves. So that's why I asked her to order us a couple of drinks because seriously, with all my nerves getting a bit shaken up, I needed something to steady it. And that's just it. A beer.
I never thought that ordering a beer along with your dinner could send too many thoughts running across your head, especially if you've just done it for the first time. Some of you might not get this but growing up (and still living) in a house where you follow the traditional rules (i.e. no talking back to your parents, weekends are for the family especially Sundays where everyone must go to church, curfew hours even if you're in the working force already, which really I don't mind much since it gives me a reason to go home early, if you're going to be late you must send a message and make sure you're in time for dinner, and lastly, no drinking of alcohol in front of your parents especially if there's no occasion.) will always make you feel like you need to ask for permission first before you do something that usually only grown-ups will do, which as what I've said, like ordering a beer. Maybe that's one of the reasons why until now, I'm still not yet ready to give up my place as one of the younger children. Truth be told, by around 6:00, I was already expecting a message or a phone call from my mom asking me where I was, but surprisingly, it didn't get in until 7:00; which in some ways is still too early for a girl like me who was born and raised in the city that is practically etched at the back of my hand, right? I mean seriously, you can count the number of times I got home later than 12 midnight (that is not in the company of a family member) on the fingers of my one hand . I swear it on girl scouts' honor. Then now, here I am, grabbing a dinner with a beer on one hand and I keep on telling myself "Hey, just a reminder, you're old enough to do this so there's no need for you to look behind your back to check if your mom will suddenly pop out of nowhere just to ask you what the heck do you think you're drinking?". I guess if you've lived like this all your life, it's much harder to rub off of your system.
So this is me - an in denial grown-up who still believes that the things she does were all just part of playing the grown-up game. Sometimes, when I sign papers or make letters and stuff or do recommendations and consultations with parents regarding their kids' health, it still leaves me feeling a bit dazed afterwards. To think that these people actually listened to the words that I've said (which sometimes I felt like I just memorized it from a textbook) still gives me the creeps because seriously, if they saw me for the kid that I really am inside, would they still heed my advice?
***I know this is basically way too much thinking just for a bottle of beer but well, welcome to my life. ;)
No comments:
Post a Comment