Silence

Your absence is the
loudest silence these ears of
mine have ever heard.

Casablanca

A chance meeting was
all it took, for my whole world
to turn upside down.

We were meant to cross
each others paths yet we were
never meant to stay.

Memories of you
are all I could keep. Still
I'm glad for it's you.

Cast a Spell on You

If only I knew how to cast
a spell that could bind you to me,
I would have done it first.
But you beat me to it and
took the liberty away
from my hands the moment
you whispered my name.

Paper Town

We created life inside this
paper town that we built.
We made ourselves believe
that this is enough.
In celebration, we lit up the
fireworks that lighted the whole town.
Yet we also forgot that paper
could easily turn into ashes
once you strike a match
and lit a fire over it.

Before Ever After

Before, I always wish
of happily-ever-afters.
But it wasn't until
with you that I
stopped wishing for it.
For what will I do
with a happy ending,
if it's these moments with you
before the ever after
that I never want to end?

Something More

Broken. That was what we thought we were. We were dreamers once who always believed that life is wonderful and will never mean to hurt. Like newly pressed sheets of paper, we let life draw its ink against our smooth surface as it writes the perfect story. 

We were the hopeful, naive, starry-eyed believers. 

Until life decided that it doesn't like what it has written, so it crumpled the sheets that were once was us and tossed it across the dark side of the room. Words written turned into incomprehensible squiggles as tears smudged away the ink. Time flew by and dried tears turned into red haze. Tearing up all these crumpled sheets into tiny pieces and throwing them up to the air, watching them fall down like improvised snowflakes raining inside this dingy room. 

We were prepared to blow the life out of the last flicker of hope when life showed us that it has other plans. With a sweep of its fingers, it gathered up all of our torn pieces and put it in a basin. With water and glue, it stirred us around and around until all our colors mixed and poured the mixture into a wooden frame; then laid us out under the warmth of the sun. 

It wasn't until when we were drying underneath the heat when we realized that all our broken pieces were once more whole. We may not be the same smooth, monochromatic separate sheets of paper we once were. But it wasn't until we saw the imperfections, the splashes of colors across our roughened sheet that we realize, that sometimes being broken is never the end. It's only life's way of giving us a chance to create our paper that we'd use to write our story on before it lends us its pen. 

To create something that we can call as ours. 

To create something new. 

Something more beautiful.

Two Steps Behind

Fate is always
fond of playing games;
of hide and seek
and missed chances.
We are the pegs
on the board skipping
around to do its bidding.
With each roll of the dice
we passed by each other
a couple times,
yet still we never touch.
How many turns
do we have to take
till luck sides with us
and will finally let us
land our feet
on the same square?

So Close

Dance with me under the moonlight
as the slight tinkle of the
music box echo against the
glass that surrounds us.
I wouldn't mind if I should lose
my breath, if only you'll keep
your arms clasped tight around me.
Let the air that you breathe out
fill my lungs, if that's the only
way I can keep a part of you in me.
Hold me close and don't let go.
Let this dream last longer
as the water begins to leak through
the cracks forming across the glass,
until the final notes begin to fade.

source

Mamihlapinatapai

Do you notice how you make me feel?
How the words come stuttering out of my lips
everytime I hear or speak your name?
Or how goosebumps appear across my skin
everytime it anticipates your touch?
Do you even notice how my pupils dilate
everytime it catches your gaze?
How can I show you what I truly feel?
If everytime something of you -
your touch, your voice or even just a thought of you -
suddenly comes too close,
my mouth closes up 
even if in my mind, 
all of me screams out for you.

source

MAMIHLAPINATAPAI  

Yamana (Tierra del Fuego), noun

~ the wordless, yet meaningful look

shared by two people 

who both desire to initiate something 

but are both reluctant to start.

The In-Between

You are that indescribable thing
between reality and make-believe.
You make me want to say 
you're too good to be true,
yet you also make me want
to take in all your imperfections;
because they're part of who you are.
You make my heart beat 
a thousand times faster 
whenever you're around,
yet you alone could bring
the calmness it craves.
It's only you that could
make me brave enough to take that leap,
for you alone are the only one
that made me feel afraid enough -
made me feel afraid to lose.
 

With Arms Wide Open

I am a solitary tree
living up on a hill,
patiently waiting
for the day that I can
reach the skies.
All my branches were
stretched up high,
braving through
the storms that pass me by.
With shaky limbs
and eyes shut tight
I kept them high,
even if lightning
threatens to strike.
It's the promise of the sun
that soon shall rise
that gives me courage 
to stay alive.

The Poet (by Lang Leav)

Summer Breeze

It's when the city life
takes its toll on me
that I sometimes wish
for the solitude offered
by a field of grass;
with nothing else
but the fireflies and
the moonlit sky to accompany me.
And as I imagine
a slight drizzle of rain
and summer breeze
tickle my skin,
all the dread and weariness
shall soon too fade.
Now all I need is for you
to be here,
to still my heart
that's beating so loud
wishing for you to hear its sound.

Smoke Screen

Hear the words I cannot speak.
Did you notice the longing from its sound? 
Feel my arms that cannot reach.
Do you yearn for its warmth as it yearns for yours?
Look into my eyes and see what I mean.
For only you can see through this veneer,
see the truth lying underneath this skin.

Bizarre Love Triangle

She watched Him from afar
He loved her
She loved Him
He lost her
She found Him

She reached out Her arms
wanting to keep Him within
He too reached out
as if She could keep Him from sinking

But it wasn't until their eyes met
through the murky waters
when She realized with a heavy heart
that all these time He thought
She was her

 

If Only I

I've lived in the real world for far too long.
Where wishes on dandelions and wishbones
were just part of child's play.
You were from a place where wishes come true.
Still I blew too many dandelions
up into the air till I lose my breath
and snapped too many wishbones in two
while whispering your name,
even if a part of me believes that it's nothing 
but just a child's foolish game.

Ice and Fire

Pins and needles were all I felt
when they asked for my hand
and reverently kissed the backs
of my frozen fingers.
I knew you were different
for you were the only one
bold enough to take my hand
and grasp it tight within yours.
Pins and needles turned
into fire and lightning when you
turned over my hand and pressed
your warm lips against my palm.
I knew you were different 
for you are the only one. 

***Hi there everyone. Sorry if I wasn't able to post anything these past few days for I'm having trouble with my internet connection. But I promise I'd try to post as often as I can. Please bear with me. ;)

Just a Girl

I couldn't help thinking of you

as this little boy with dreamy eyes

and chubby cheeks that always seem

too full because of your wide smile.

I imagine you riding your first bicycle

without its training wheels,

with you trying so hard 

to keep the tears from falling

when you fell down and scraped your knee.

I wanted to be that girl 

who will hold your hand

and kiss away your tears,

to tell you that it's okay for you to cry,

to show them that you were hurt.

Because for now,

all I can see is the you

from right here, right now.

The one who sits beside me 

when all that my limbs could feel 

were just pins and needles.

The one who kisses away my tears

when the world seems all bleak and dreary.

If only I could travel back in time,

back to the time where the little boy

with those dreamy eyes and chubby cheeks 

fell from his bike.

Then maybe, just maybe,

I could be that girl who would offer you

even just half of what you have given to me.

Hearing Hands

This video just made my day (and yeah, I admit, also made me tear up a bit.:P) Having a sister that is hearing impaired too, this one struck a chord very close to home. I'm really glad that now, there are more and more people who are trying to go out of their way just to reach out. I wish that someday soon, we will have a world where they could live normally, with less restrictions on their capabilities. A world that will not judge them for what they lack, but will accept them for who they are and will see in them the greatness that they can achieve. :)

Try

I know how it feels like

to fill your heart with emotions
until it's full to bursting.
I've had my own share of
infatuations and wishful thinkings.
But it's only with you that I've learned
what these emotions truly mean.
You wanted everything of me.
You not only asked, you demanded.
Even this dark side that 
I kept buried underneath,
out of your view.
You forced it and dragged it out 
into the surface.
You stirred all of the remaining light
I've been trying to hold on to
with all of these shadows that has been
haunting me.
And in turn, 
making me into one of your
marbled creations.
You made me want to try to believe
that what we have is worth waiting for.

The Words

You are the only imperfection
that I'm too proud of to hide.
You found me,
with my heart split wide open,
where parts of me started turning black
as the erratic beating began to slow down.
You sneaked your way into my veins 
until you became the blood flowing through it,
rushing towards my wounds,
binding them with your healing touch
and soothing words. 
You are like a calming balm against my fears.
You are the scar,
the reason that kept me alive,
the only imperfection 
I'm too proud of to hide.

All of the lights land on you

The rest of the world fades from view

And all of the love I see

Please please say you feel it too

And all of the noise I hear inside

Restless and loud, unspoken and wild

And all that you need to say

To make it all go away

Is that you feel the same way too

And I know

The scariest part is letting go

'Cause love is a ghost you can’t control

I promise you the truth can’t hurt us now

So let the words slip out of your mouth

And all of the steps that led me to you

And all of the hell I had to walk through

But I wouldn’t trade a day for the chance to say

My love, I’m in love with you

And I know

The scariest part is letting go

'Cause love is a ghost you can’t control

I promise you the truth can’t hurt us now

So let the words slip out of your mouth

I know that we’re both afraid

We both made the same mistakes

An open heart is an open wound to you

And in the wind of a heavy choice

Love has a quiet voice

Still your mind, now I’m yours to choose

And I know

The scariest part is letting go

Let my love be the light that guides you home

And I know

The scariest part is letting go

'Cause love is a ghost you can’t control

I promise you the truth can’t hurt us now

So let the words slip out of your mouth

*** There are good songs and there are amazing songs. Yet there are also songs that are undescribable. That somehow you cannot explain what you were feeling after hearing it. This song is one of them. It literally brought up too much emotions out on the surface and I cannot explain why. I guess the music  video helped too? I have to admit, I'm an admirer of Mr. Hook right there. ;)

Robbers

All it took was a second or two.
A passing glance of straying eyes,
unknowingly searching 
across the crowded room,
before all of the memories
come crashing down over both.
Pain once thought was completely gone 
was felt once more by these numbed souls.
All it took was a second or two,
for a passing glance,
a chance meeting,
to steal away the rest of sanity left.

When Pigs Fly

"The Tale of the Flying Pig" 

by Jhun

I first met Pigasus when I found a copy of John Steinbeck's "Of Mice and Men" from a second hand bookstore that I usually visit. As I opened the cover, I noticed a small drawing underneath the first page and, was intrigued to see a picture of a pig with wings, with an inscription underneath, "Ad astra per alia porci". It was then that I learned that Steinbeck used Pigasus as his personal stamp and that the inscription meant "To the stars on the wings of a pig." For him it meant that one should never stop to aspire to be on top no matter how lowly he might think he is. I admire his philosophy, though I have my own take about the flying pig.

From the first moment I saw Pigasus, I decided to "borrow" it as a symboI of my own philosophy in life. And that is to aspire to be good, to be better, without "flying too high" and forgetting where your feet took off from the ground. And mostly, to be content and happy with what you have right now no matter how humble it might be. I remember back then when I was still in school, I was an ambitious kid with lots of plans for the future. But when things started to get rough and I've crossed too many roads, I found myself driving farther and farther from the path I planned and I started to feel depressed and angry because everything was going wrong. 

Then something happened (which I'll share some other time ;)), and I started to see things from a different perspective. I realized that there's alot of reason to be happy for, to be content with, if only I'd refrain from always looking forward to the future without noticing the good things happening to me right here in the present. I still have some goals but I actually stopped from making step-by-step plans on how to achieve it. I'm pretty sure some might think that this is just a lazy mind's way of rationalizing things but what can I say, you can't please everybody. 

source

***originally posted from The Chronicles of Luna.

Signal Fire

I was a brave soldier
with a sword in hand and
a shield on my arm.
I was a brave soldier
that fears nothing
between life and death.
Yet you with your 
watchful eyes
saw right through my
brave veneer.
And with your whispered words
and gentle hands,
you took away
my armor and cradled the 
quivering body that's been 
hiding inside for far too long.

Beautiful Disaster

She wanted to believe
in fairy tales and happy endings
but the real world shows her otherwise.
Still she keeps on dreaming and wishing
on falling stars and dandelions.
She cupped her hands against the breeze,
over that tiny flame of hope flickering,
hoping that somehow, 
things might change for the better.
Believe her when she says
that she doesn't need someone to save her.
All she needs is a reason to believe.

Green Finch and Linnet Bird

She is a restless little thing.
Her wings constantly flapping,
eager to bring her someplace new.
Her feet skimming against the seawater 
as she flies too low over the ocean.
Her eyes always on the look out
for the next adventure.
She might always fly too far,
farther than she'd planned to.
But inside she knows
that she'll never be lost. 
For he is her home,
the north which her compass
always points to;
and at the end of each journey,
her heart will always guide her 
back to where home is.

Outside the sky waits, beckoning, beckoning...

Repetition

There are days when I feel too much and all 
I wanted to do was to let some of it out, 
yet words fail me, and I can't even
arrange them into coherent thoughts.
Like today, 
when all I can feel is this lingering absence, 
where I thought I can feel your arms wrapped around me,
and your lips pressed tenderly against my hair.
Is it too simple for me to say that I just miss you?
If I keep on repeating it again and again and again,
would it be just like as they say?
That if I keep on repeating the words, it loses its meaning?
That somehow it would take away some of the ache?
Because truth be told, my hands already ache
from repeatedly typing out the words with your name on it.
My lips are already numb from endlessly shouting it out,
hoping that you can hear it.
Yet, the ache still lingers.
Could it be that you mean so much more than these words could ever be?

*** We had the privilege to watch him (Phil Kaye) and Sarah Kay perform live a couple of days ago and I have to say, it's an experience worth repeating again and again. Seriously, tears won't stop from pouring out of my eyes when he performed this particular piece. This one will always have a special spot in my heart no matter how many times I've seen it. ;)

Slow Dancing in a Burning Room

Hold me close
and don't say a word.
All I need is to feel your
heart beating against mine.
Breathe in slow
and I'll match your pace,
I'll breathe you deep
as you breathe out.
Hold me tight
and let's pretend, 
that we can't feel
our tears dampening 
the sides of our cheeks.
Close your eyes 
and let's pretend, 
that we can't hear
the sound of flames
crackling against the wind.
That the walls we built
against the world outside
are not crumbling down.
For old times' sake,
just hold me close 
and let's pretend, 
for one last time.

It's OK

She crawled her way

to the tip of the branch,

trying to keep her balance

as it sways up and down,

up and down,

against her weight.

He beckoned her

to take that leap,

while circling around the tree,

waiting for her

to follow his lead.

She stood there,

all quivering inside.

Yet, she bravely

straightened her spine

and piled up all the courage

that she could muster.

When a breeze came,

she took that final step

and let herself fall. 

All along he was watching 

her from afar as she faced 

her fears on her own.

She was freefalling.

She kept her wings tucked tight 

against her body,

feeling the blood and the thrill

rushing up her head

as she fell faster and faster.

He called out.

And in that precise moment

where she almost hit the ground,

she spread out her wings

and flapped it against the wind,

brushing the feathers underneath.

And finally, she was flying.

He too flapped his wings harder,

as if trying to give her a round of applause.

He waited till she gets steady,

and when she did, 

he gave out his final call of farewell,

and she too of her gratitude.

And as the sun set, he flew straight

to where the sun slowly disappeared,

while she headed straight to where

she will meet the sunrise.

It's ok, it's ok

I know someday I'm gonna be with you

Beautiful Night

He hesitated,
preventing the words
that would have 
made her stay
from spilling out of his lips.
She was terrified
and ran away,
not wanting to hear
what she thought 
was his final gooodbye.
He reached out with his hand,
but couldn't move his feet.
The love and pain he was feeling
reflected in his eyes.
And in that split second
their paths changed course,
when she shifted her gaze,
not wanting to meet his eyes.
Afraid to see pity instead of longing,
the same longing she felt for him.
He stood still,
with arms outstretched,
thinking that she didn't need him.
She ran away,
with her hands clutched against her chest,
thinking that he didn't want her.

Kim: Why are you crying?

Dell: I'm just happy to see you and it's such a beautiful night. I feel like I'm in the wrong world, 'cause I don't belong in a world where we don't end up together. I don't. There are parallel universes out there where this didn't happen, where I was with you and you were with me. And whatever universe that is, that's the one where my heart lives in.

***And here I am still hurting from this movie. T_T

Comet

Whenever this tiny ache 
comes crawling in to my chest, 
to that space where my heart supposedly lays,
I hug myself tight instead,
till I fall asleep.
Till I get to that place
somewhere in my dreams,
where you and I were not separated
by miles of land and of the endless sea.
Where your skin, your lips, your hands
are just a breath away.
As I wake up to the sunrise
with hope in my heart and
a smile on my lips,
I hold on to these dreams
and think of them as the memories we shared
somewhere in another universe.

We were supposed to watch this on the big screen awhile ago but unfortunately, it got pulled out just 2 days after its release, which is quite unforgivable I believe. Fortunately, I can still watch it now, though its only in the small screen. Be still my ever pathetically-hopeless-romantic heart. *^o^*