Solace

The curtains are up and the sun descends from its throne
giving way for the clouds to dance across the sky
And as the freezing rain begins to pour down my face
I could feel the warmth of the earth seeping beneath my back

I relish this comfort the darkness offers unto me

as it welcomes me into its deceiving bliss

Underneath the mist that conquers this hill

I ponder the lives lying before and ahead of me

Then I hear the wind rushing through the trees

whispering to me the secrets undermining this solitude of mine

And when the elusive moon suddenly peeks trough my clouded mind

an unwarranted jolt of surprise seizes me

As I taste upon my lips the saltiness of the cursed rain on my face

I wrote this piece four years ago, mirroring how I felt during that moment in my life. It's that time of the year again wherein I can't help but feel a little bit dark and gloomy. I guess losing someone you love dearly does that to you, especially if you were left with dozens of regrets, of things left unsaid that you wish you should have told them while they're still around. It's been four years but still, everytime I remember that fateful day, it always feels like it just happened this morning. I remember how it all felt - walking through the hospital hallways in a daze, wishing that it was all just a dream - I always end up losing my breath like I was sucker punched, still unable to believe that I lost my dad. I guess it's one of the reasons why I'm hesitant to be attached to too many people; because I don't think I could handle to feel again that much pain whenever you lose someone who has become a part of you.