Your Ex-Lover Is Dead

You feel so familiar -
she said
- as if I should know your name;
though no matter how hard
I try to search for it
here within the deep
recesses of my mind,
I  still couldn't.
Would it be possible
that I have known you from 
a different lifetime,
and in that one
we somehow fell apart.
That is why my head kept
on hiding your name away
from my memory,
just to save me from
the misery that the mere
mention of your name 
once brought me?

Summer Is Over

Here comes the storm,
the rains come barging in.
Thunder rumbles,
lightning strikes,
waking the fear 
curled up deep inside.
Please don't tell me
that the summer's already gone.
But even if it is,
I wouldn't mind
getting drenched in the rain.
If only you would just 
reach out your hand
and share with me 
the warmth,
the calm,
that only you could lend
this constantly 
shivering heart.

More Than Words

There are so many things 
that I want to say to you,
yet it seems like
I can't find
the right words to use 
and sometimes,
the ones that I manage to find
felt like they
weren't enough
so I'd rather just keep
my mouth shut.
I'd really want to use
my words, love
if only I knew 
how to speak them,
or even just knew
which ones to choose.
But for now,
will you be patient enough
with me to just 
lend me yours
even just for a little while?

Forever and Always

The worst nightmare

that I ever had

was the one

where I lost you.

Because when I woke up,

my chest hurt so much

it felt like it took

a thousand lashings

that makes even breathing 

hard to do.

It was only just a dream

but the pain was all too real,

and I'm afraid

that in this waking world

that we live in,

I won't be strong enough

to face that much hurt,
the one that could last forever.

Because in this place

I won't be able to tell myself

that it's only just a dream

and anytime soon

I'll wake up to your smile
once more.

Open Letter to the Other Side

Dear Tatay,

I didn't realize that it's already been six years since we started celebrating your birthday without you here. Who would've thought that this could last that long? That I could last this long while living with this ache that kept shelter in my heart since you left. I know it wasn't  your fault. It wasn't anybody's fault. But the truth is, it hurts. Because I miss you so bad. The way your smile lights up the day. Or how you mindlessly whistle a song (usually it's La Vie En Rose) while answering the day's crossword puzzle with your morning cup of coffee. Your childhood stories and those that you had while saling the sea. And there's nothing I can do about this missing you. Except maybe live the remaining hours that I have, as fully as you did with yours. Maybe someday when we meet again, it'll be my stories that you'll be listening to. But until then, please save a spot for me beside you. I can't think of anything else to tell you now except, god I miss you. 

P.S. Thank you for the song.

Hook, Line, and Sinker

I've already worn a path
on the floorboads
of this empty house
while searching the closet,
the cupboards,
the cabinets
underneath the sink,
for words that I could use
to hook on a fish line.
To use it as a bait 
to reel this ache
out of the deepest 
part of me 
just so I can throw it
back to the sea
and watch it swim its way
towards the light 
of the sinking sun.