When I See You Again

There are days when time

seems to move way too fast

and sometimes way too slow;

but in both cases

it never ceases to keep on ticking.

I thought I would only wish 

for time to stand still

only on the best of times.

But whenever my mind

lingers back to you,

it makes me wish that

if only it too would stop

when I stick my finger into the dial

before the second hand

strikes another second, 

until the moment our toe tips meet,

because I never want to spend

another moment away from you.

***Hi guys. Just a heads up. Since today's the last day of work, this could possibly be my last post for the year. But if opportunity presents itself, I might be able to squeeze in a post or two in between the holiday rush. :P Till then, I wish you all happy holidays and I hope you can spend it with your family and friends. ^o^

Plot Twist!

I remember reading somewhere once that "When something goes wrong with your life, just yell, PLOT TWIST!, and move on," and it did me hell of a lot of good since then. Because I remember, during my emo-angst-ridden-days :P, I easily get disappointed whenever my plans go to waste. That's why I learned early on to set my expectations low, sometimes I do not even expect anything at all, because in that way, I can avoid encountering disappointments along the way. But later on I realized (when I grew up.ouch!) that if I keep on doing it, I will never experience what life really is. And that is, it's a muddy path full of potholes and shits, and it's up to you if you'd rather stay where you are and watch the sun go up and down on the same spot for the rest of your life, or, you'd march on and stumble through the path while dancing and prancing around. Then you'd realize that even if you step on these potholes and shits, the rain will just pour down to wash them away, and the sun will definitely shine to dry you off. So you're free to do more dancing and prancing around again, ayt? Am I making any sense? Hahaha! I know, I'm blabbering again, but pardon me for this for it is the only way that I could keep myself sane from my everyday life. It's too much of a cliche I know, but it's true, that when a door closes, another door or a window might open. Just like what happened to the Full Moon Beach Party that we were supposed to attend.O_o It was just that when we were about to register ourselves,  we learned that all the slots were already filled. We felt a bit disappointed at first because we've been looking forward to it for a long time, but alas! that's how life is. Then after a couple of days, I brought out the pile of newspapers that's been filling my desk and started cutting out the clips that I planned to put on my scrapbook, when I stumbled across an article that I was interested but forgot about. And voila! We found ourselves a new adventure to look forward to. Now we didn't make any plans anymore and just let things be as they will. I just hope that we will have a blast spending a couple of days beside the beach while waiting for the fireflies and the full moon to light our nights. :))

** In case you're interested, you may check out the tour organizer's page here. ;) 

This is the first time that I'm actually looking forward more for the 28th instead of the 24th/25th. Hahaha! :P

Widow of the Sea

Storm barging in through the calm;
disturbing the peace
that settles me down.
setting my heart into an uneasy pace,
while freezing me whole
with its bitter chill.
But I'm not asking for you
to make me a pyre,
of roaring fire that reaches the sky,
nor build me a castle of stones
with walls standing tall 
against the crashing waves.
Just lend me the warmth
of your hand as they tenderly lay
against my cheek,
and it'll be enough
to make me feel safe,
and to keep the fire in me aflame.

I hold these arms around you

Walls around me

My River Runs To Thee

MY river runs to thee:
Blue sea, wilt welcome me?
My river waits reply.
Oh sea, look graciously!
I ’ll fetch thee brooks
From spotted nooks,—
Say, sea,
Take me! ~ Emily Dickinson~

Borrowed Words

Will you move a little bit closer?
Until you're close enough
for me to catch 
the words pouring like miracles
out of your lips
and into my mouth.
Can I swallow them 
and keep them in me,
and borrow them 
when I can't find the words
to use as my own?

Stuck in the Moment

Stuck in the middle
between reality and dream.
Arms flailing, 
trying to reach the sky,
yet both feet were rooted,
deep into the sand.
You are a dream
flying dangerously
close to reality.
And it makes me scared to think
that once we touch,
you'll turn into ashes
right between my fingertips.

God Light

A ray of light

streaking through

the thick white clouds;

like god's own hand

reaching through

the human heart's

miseries and sorrows.

You unknowingly

shone your light my way,

and showed me that

you are the miracle

I've been waiting to see.

Dreamcatcher

Tangled limbs
on twisted sheets,
weaved and bound
into knots and twists.
A dreamcatcher meant
to ward off 
bad dreams and monsters,
hovering over and
hiding underneath, 
the bed.

Unspoken Words

Unscramble the words
rattling like stones
within the confines
of my lips.
Read the words 
that they can't speak,
yet my eyes
beg you to see.
Watch my hands
reach out for you,
as I fight off the 
nightmares lurking
in my dreams.

The Bridges of Madison County

Lately, it seems like the words get jumbled inside my head and I cannot organize them into comprehensible thoughts. It's hard when this happens, because somehow I can't release the emotions bubbling underneath the surface and all it does was to keep me in a heightened state of anxiety and restlessness. That's why it's kind of a blessing when a friend suddenly lent me the book "Bridges of Madison County" and I had a good cry with it over this past week. It's a little bit weird because she just asked me out of nowhere if I've already read it and I said that I only know of its existence but I don't know anything about the plot itself. So the next day she brought it with her and gave it to me and I began reading it. It's a good thing in a way that the story is simple, no complicated plot twists and whatsoever, just an age old story of romance and missed chances. Still, even if the story was simple, it managed to pull out all these emotions I've been struggling with and opened up a dam of saltwater pouring from my eyes. :') Now I'm feeling a little bit lighter though I'm still struggling with my words, but I know this too shall pass. It's a bit of coincidence (or not) and kind of funny too, on how when my friend just mentioned to me about this book, I also found out on the paper that the musical is currently running at the RCBC Plaza theater too. So I suddenly told Rhio about it (even though she hasn't read the book or even watched the movie :P) and badgered her into buying tickets for it because it will already end on the 6th. So later tonight, we'll head on to the theater and I will prepare myself for crying another bucket of tears over Robert and Francesca's endless love story. :')

******

“The human heart has a way of making itself large again even after it's been broken into a million pieces.” 

******

“The old dreams were good dreams; the didn't work out, but I'm glad I had them.”

******

“So here I am walking around with another person inside of me. Though I think I put it better the day we parted when I said there is a third person we have created from the two of us. And I am stalked now by that other entity.” 

******

“It’s clear to me now that I have been moving toward you and you toward me for a long time. Though neither of us was aware of the other before we met, there was a kind of mindless certainty bumming blithely along beneath our ignorance that ensured we would come together. Like two solitary birds flying the great prairies by celestial reckoning, all of these years and lifetimes we have been moving toward one another.” 

******

“I don't like feeling sorry for myself. That's not who I am. And most of the time I don't feel that way. Instead, I am grateful for having at least found you. We could have flashed by one another like two pieces of cosmic dust.

God or the universe or whatever one chooses to label the great systems of balance and order does not recognize Earth-time. To the universe, four days is no different than four billion light years. I try to keep that in mind.

But, I am, after all, a man. And all the philosophic rationalizations I can conjure up do not keep me from wanting you, every day, every moment, the merciless wail of time, of time I can never spend with you, deep within my head.

I love you, profoundly and completely. And I always will.

The last cowboy,

Robert” 

******

and my most favorite line of all...

“In a universe of ambiguity, this kind of certainty comes only once, and never again, no matter how many lifetimes you live.”